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Lessons in Love
for the Shy at Heart |
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One of
the
biggest
regrets
of my
life is
that I
was
cursed
with the
shyness
gene.
Shyness
is an
often
misunderstood
condition
that can
leave
the
afflicted
alone
and
miserable.
As a
victim
of
shyness,
I
completely
understand
the
pitfalls.
I also
understand
that
there
are
levels
of the
condition
that
start at
“painfully
shy” or
(as I
think it
is
referred
to
nowadays)
“social
anxiety”
to
simply
being
“uncomfortable”
at
parties.
More
outgoing
people
tend to
brush
off
shyness
as
something
that is
easy to
get
over.However
those of
us who
suffer
with it
day
after
day
realize
that it
would be
comparable
to
asking
an
alcoholic
to stop
drinking.
Doable,
yes –
but
easy?
Hardly!
But
whatever
your
comfort
level,
shyness
does not
have to
be a
life
sentence
of
aloneness
- there
is still
someone
out
there
for you.
I have
more
than
once
longed
for the
days
where
parents
were
required
to find
mates
for
their
children,
fully
realizing
the
downside
of that
prospect
as well.
But
considering
those
days are
long
gone in
our free
society,
it is
time to
look at
the
many
other
varied
options
available
to the
lovelorn
today.
Unfortunately,
most of
us
aren’t
lucky
enough
for love
to just
find us.
In spite
of this
there
are
still
those
who fall
in love
with
their
available
classmates,
co-workers,
or
brothers/sisters
of their
best
friends.
Another
“charmed”
way is
to have
a good
friend
look
through
their
personal
Rolodex
and pull
out the
name of
that
perfect
person.
I, for
one,
have
never
had a
single
friend
with a
connection
to
someone
who
would be
right
for me.
I would
even
venture
to say
that
life is
just not
that
easy for
the
majority
of us
out
there.
Also for
many
people,
not just
the shy,
bar and
club
hopping
has just
plain
gotten
old. And
although
it is
still
possible,
placing
a blind
ad for
love in
a
newspaper
or
magazine
is a
daunting
proposition
at best.
Some of
the
newer
options
include
the
Internet.
Over the
past few
years,
on-line
dating
has
taken
off in a
way that
no one
could
have
predicted,
emphasizing
perhaps
for the
first
time the
amount
of
lonely
people
in the
world
today.
As most
people
utilize
these
sites
from the
safety
of their
living
rooms,
the shy
can wrap
themselves
in
anonymity
and
easily
make
contact
within
their
comfort
zone.
Unfortunately,
there
are
often
predators
as well
as those
with a
penchant
for
being
less
than
truthful
who
occasionally
respond
on the
other
side of
the
screen.
Still,
this can
be a
method
for
making
successful
matches
as long
as great
care is
taken.
Another
method
would be
the
off-line
dating
service
although
many of
them
tend to
be over
priced
and
equally
anonymous.
If
shopping
carefully,
there
are
existing
services
with
integrity,
that
work at
individual
comfort
levels.
There is
also the
possibility
of
reasonable
pricing
as well
as
background
screening
to
increase
safety.
One last
recommendation,
from one
who
shares
the
shyness
curse,
is
simply
to find
ways to
expand
your
comfort
zone. I
did this
initially
by
getting
a job
that
forced
me to
interact
with
people.
The
bottom
line is
shyness
isn’t
synonymous
with
cowardice.
Take a
good
look at
yourself
and
decide
what
improvements
are in
your
ability
to make
and make
them.
Meeting
and
dealing
with
people
will
always
increase
your
chances
of
making a
match
yourself.
If that
is your
goal,
then it
has to
begin
with
you.
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About the
Author
Jennifer G. Smith owner and CEO of Let's
Meet Here LLC is an acclaimed
relationship guru.. She uses a holistic
approach when bringing
relationship-minded people together,
conducting personal meetings with
clients and establishing a trustful
rapport among the many individuals who
seek her wisdom. She lives in Los
Angeles and can be contacted at: jgsmith@lets-meet-here.com
or (818) 232-4148.
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