He
always
looks
perfectly
put
together.
He can
be in a
t-shirt
and
jeans or
heading
out to a
black-tie
event.
His hair
never
has a
bad day.
His
nails
are
clean
and
buffed.
His
clothes
are
perfectly
pressed
and
exquisitely
coordinated.
He
smells
like
flowers
and
spice.
Is he
gay? No,
he's the
new
metrosexual
man.
As many
of you
know by
now, the
term "metrosexual"
was
coined
by a
journalist
(and gay
man)
named
Mark
Simpson,
to
describe
a new
kind of
urban
male who
is
straight,
but in
touch
with his
feminine
side and
not
afraid
to show
it.
Essentially,
metrosexuals
are guys
who take
on
behaviors
and show
an
interest
in
things
that
have
traditionally
belonged
in the
female
domain.
You may
have a
metrosexual
brother,
male
friend
or
boyfriend
(ex).
These
are the
guys you
can shop
till you
drop
with.
They can
discuss
fashion,
will
notice
your
great
new
shoes,
buy
their
grooming
products
from the
same
places
you do
and have
no
qualms
about
having a
manicure,
pedicure
or
facial.
You can
actually
TALK to
these
guys
about
something
other
than
sports,
cars and
other
traditionally
male
interests.
These
are the
guys you
can take
to the
opera,
symphony
and
ballet.
The
perfect
man,
right?
Depends
on whom
you talk
to.
Let's
step
back a
minute
and look
at the
where
and how
of the
existence
of the
metrosexual
man.
Simply
put, he
is a
by-product
of
feminism
and the
changing
roles
and
related
expectations
of
women.
As women
have
moved
into
(previously)
male
dominated
environments
and
roles,
it has
caused a
shift in
the
male-female
balance.
Women
are now
active
participants
in
industry,
politics
and the
professions-
to name
a few.
However,
as they
have
left
their
old jobs
as
homemakers
and
full-time
domestic
caregivers,
they
left a
lot of
empty
space to
be
filled.
Childcare
providers
and the
domestic
cleaning
industry
could
provide
some of
this.
The
problem
was all
the
"other"
stuff
women
had
always
done.
Men
were,
therefore,
called
upon to
contribute
more to
the
raising
of
children,
housework,
cooking,
shopping,
etc.
Their
sons
were
being
exposed
a new
role
model, a
dad who
took on
jobs and
chores
that had
traditionally
belonged
to mom.
Young
boys
themselves
were
also
being
tapped
to do
housework
and help
with
siblings,
exposing
them to
a new
way of
being a
male in
our
society.
Women
had
become
more
independent
and
financially
and
professionally
successful.
Men had
become
more
domestic
and had
to
soften
their
style as
they
moved
into
more
traditionally
feminine
roles.
A new
social
order
had
evolved
that
worked
for
everyone,
right?
Not
necessarily.
We never
take on
something
new
without
giving
something
up. So,
what has
been
discarded?
Clearly
defined
social
roles
and the
expectations
that
come
with
them-
for
starters.
Suddenly
there
was a
new
blueprint
for how
men and
women
should
relate-
especially
in the
world of
dating.
However,
it was
unclear
and
depending
upon
whom you
asked,
you
would
get a
different
answer.
Usher in
the
confusion
and
frustration
surrounding
dating
in the
new
millennium.
Women
ask
questions
such as:
* who
asks who
out *
who
calls
who *
who pays
* who
makes
decisions
about
where to
go, etc.
* What
are the
expectations
at the
end of
the date
* how
soon
should
we
become
intimate
Women
comment
on:
* his
lack of
initiative
in
calling
or
asking
her out
* his
expectation
that
they
will go
dutch *
how he
never
offers
to pick
her up *
his
overall
lack of
assertiveness
* his
saying
he will
call,
but not
following
through
* his
too
polished
style
which
lacks a
certain
spark of
masculinity
* his
taking
longer
to get
ready
than she
does *
his
crudeness
or over
aggressive
style *
his
expectation
that
they
will
have sex
Men ask
questions
such as:
* what
do women
want *
why
should a
guy have
to ask a
girl out
* why
should
the guy
always
pay *
why do
women
say they
want
sensitivity,
etc.,
but see
guys
like
that as
wimps *
why do
women
give out
such
mixed
signals
in
general
* why do
women
seem to
reject
nice
guys and
go for
jerks *
why
can't a
woman be
the
aggressor
Men
comment
on:
* women
acting
spoiled
* women
wanting
their
independence,
etc. but
not
wanting
equal
responsibility
and
weight *
women
expecting
a lot
from
men, but
offering
little
in
return *
women
not
knowing
what
they
want *
women
playing
games *
women's
attraction
to "bad
boys"
Both
women
and men
verbalize
that
they are
ok with
the
current
roles
that
have
evolved
for them
in our
society,
yet I
hear
both
talk
wistfully
about
how it
was in
previous
generations.
Back
then;
everyone
KNEW
what was
expected
from him
or her.
Life was
predictable.
Dating
was much
simpler
and
"safer".
Men were
men
and
women
were
raised
to be
wives
and
homemakers.
We have
gained
something
and we
have
lost
something.
One
thing
for
sure, we
can
never
have it
both
ways.
What's
the
answer?
It is
never
simple.
However,
it does
involve
better
communication
in
general
between
men and
women.
Singles
need to
clarify
for
themselves
(first),
what
kind of
partner
they
seek and
what
their
expectations
from a
relationship
really
are.
Once a
person
is clear
about
what
they
must
have and
what
they
can't
live
with,
they
need to
go out
and
HONESTLY
seek
that.
Knowing
what you
want is
good. If
you turn
off
someone
by your
frankness,
he/she
was not
the
someone
for you.
So,
begin
with a
self-assessment.
Then go
out and
pursue
interests
and
environments,
which
maximize
your
chances
of
meeting
compatible
singles.
And
remember,
there is
no
perfect
person.
He may
be
overly
fussy
with his
hair,
take
longer
in the
bathroom
than
most
women,
be less
ambitious
in his
work
life
than you
are and
put your
cooking
to
shame.
However,
if he's
sensitive
to YOUR
needs,
easy to
talk to
and fun
to be
with,
great
with
kids and
very
supportive
of your
goals,
he may
be the
guy of
your
dreams.
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